Welcome to Our Wedding Website!

Travis and I are so excited about our impending wedding and marriage.

I set up this website / blog so that our guests will be able to keep apace of everything that's going on.   We're not sending out any paper invitations; all of our communication with our guests will be via email and this website.  I also established it so guests and others can learn more about the green lifestyle, something I aspire to, but am still far from achieving.

We plan for our wedding to be wholly unconventional.  It's really just a picnic at which we just happen to be getting married.  I want it to be like an Edwardian May Day celebration, with guests picnicking on blankets spread in the grass, children blowing bubbles, and everyone flying kites and playing croquet.  I recently asked a dandelion (that is I made a wish while blowing off the seeds) if it was going to rain on my wedding and it said no.  So get ready for a wonderful day, next Earth Day.

P.S. I do have rainy day plans just in case the dandelion lied.

Recycling: It's as easy as...

This is the packing material my dad used for my birthday present: a ripped-up ice cream cone box, junk mail, and the paper stuffing that comes inside a new pair of shoes. He says if he's not so dumb that he can't recycle, then anyone can do it.

For Kasey's Birthday

Travis got me the BEST present for my birthday: origami flower bouquets made from pages of books.  He and I have talked about how, even though every girl loves getting flowers, they're always a bummer because they usually come from far away (especially roses) and they don't last.   Travis found the perfect solution.   And I can use them for the wedding, too.  Yay.  Good job, honey.

 

My DIY Wedding

These are the projects I'm currently working on: 

For the table decorations, I am making flowers from yarn, dress patterns, and newspaper, and paper cranes from newspaper and pages torn from old books.  All of these flowers and cranes are going to be glued to branches that have fallen from nearby trees and then arranged in glass bottles, some of which are antique and some are just reused.  I'm also making labels with quotes about marriage to go on some of the bottles.

Pom pom dandelions

 

Cranes from newspaper and pages from old books

Quotes on marriage

Flowers from dress patterns

Flowers from newspaper

I'm making lots of different party favors: bubbles and play dough for the kids, name tags for everyone, hand-embroidered handkerchiefs, and decorative (reused) jars with photos from guests' weddings.  I also hope to use yogurt cups as pots for rosemary and sage clippings for local guests to take home.

Name tags made of fabric flowers

Hand-embroidered handkerchiefs with the slogan from our wedding rings

My bouquet, the bouquets for the moms and maid of honor, and the boutonnieres will all be made of fabric flowers.  The fabric comes from old shirts of Travis' and scraps bought in second-hand stores.

I plan on using paper airplanes made from pages of old books rather than rice or bubbles at the end of the ceremony.

Lots to do.  Hopefully I'll be having several wedding decoration get-togethers where friends will help fold cranes and flowers.  We're going for 1,000 cranes as it is supposed to be good luck according to Japanese tradition.  And it's supposed to be extra good luck if loved ones help.  I don't know if I really believe in good luck, but it definitely feels wonderful to have people I care about helping me build something for my special day.  Let me know if you're interested. 

Travis' Reasons

I love Kasey because:
1. of her honesty.
2. of her integrity.
3. she is open-minded.
4. she is outgoing.
5. I find her attractive (physically and mentally).

I want to marry Kasey because:
1. she is great with kids.
2. she is smart (atheist).
3. she doesn't mind getting dirty.
4. she is caring.
5. she is responsible.

Kasey is amazing because: 
1. she is creative.
2. she is good with children.
3. she is so caring.
4. she works so hard to be a good person.
5.  she has strong convictions.

Kasey's Reasons

I love Travis because:

1. he appreciates nature - He loves sunsets, looking at the moon, and watching animals, like squirrels and spiders.

2. he is absolutely adorable with children.

3. he is compassionate - He tries to take other people's feelings into account, and he wants others to be happy.  He worries about others.

4. he makes me laugh - He's funny, and he exposes me to funny things.

5. he so naturally holds and loves me - Sometimes he has me lay in his arms and he tells me not to worry, he loves me, and everything's going to be OK.

I want to marry Travis because:

1. he balances me out - He helps slow me down and see the other side of things.  He is patient with me and compassionately helps me address my anger in a calmer, healthier way.

2. we share the same values about life - We agree about politics and ethics.

3.  he would make a wonderful father - We agree on the proper ways to raise a child.  He's protective, sweet, and loving with children.

4.  he really cares when I'm upset - He supports me and tries to help me when things are wrong.  He comforts me and holds me when I'm sad.

5. we're a good team - I understand him and can interpret for him, and he understands me and can make excuses for me.  We compliment each other and work well together.

Hooray!

From: Kasey Lindsay

To: crafts4@beaconadhesives.com

Sent: Tuesday, November 8, 2011  11:57 PM

Subject: Vegan Products?

I'm wondering if your Fabri-Tac contains any animal products?  I know lots of glues do, but I am looking for a good vegan fabric glue.

Thank you.

--Kasey

*** 

From: diane@beaconadhesives.com

To: Kasey Lindsay

Sent: Wednesday, November 9, 2011  9:20 AM

Subject: Re: Vegan Products?

Dear Kasey,

Thank you for your inquiry. Absolutely NONE of our products are formulated with any animal products whatsoever! Our glues are formulated with resins, solvents, and other natural & synthetic materials that don't contain animal products. Animal-based glues usually have an unpleasant smell that gets worse over time.

Best regards,

Diane

Beacon Adhesives

Green Stamps

I was in the post office the other day and saw these:

Totally awesome.

The Postal Service claims that the stamps are recyclable and the adhesive biodegradable.

Reducing Junk Mail

I'm always annoyed at how much junk mail I get and how wasteful and environmentally damaging it is.  I decided to finally take some steps to reduce the amount of junk mail I receive.  I followed the Today Show's recommendations:

1) I went to OptOutPrescreen.com where you can opt out of pre-approved credit card and insurance offers for five years by filling out an electronic form.  There is also an option to print out a personalized form letter to send in via snail mail to opt out of offers permanently.

2) I mailed letters to three different list brokers, which are companies that prepare and sell mailing lists to all kinds of businesses:

Metromail Corporation

List Maintenance

901 W. Bond St.

Lincoln, NE  68521

R. L. Polk & Co. / Name Deletion File

List Compilation Development

26955 Northwestern Highway

Southfield, MI  48034-4716

Database America

Compilation Department

470 Chestnut Ridge Rd.

Woodcliff, NJ  07677

See my form letter [which I printed on reused office paper and sent in old envelopes from my high school graduation (which had to be taped shut because the glue was so old)]  here; imagine the Xs replaced with my actually address and phone number.

3) I filled out an online form with a fourth list broker: Acxiom.

4) I went to the Direct Marketing Association website and had my name and address removed from the list they share with 5,200 companies.  Once you register on their site, you can "manage your mail," and pick and choose which companies can use your information, or you can have your name removed from all "Credit Offers" (which sends you back to OptOutPrescreen.com), "Catalogs," "Magazine Offers," and/or "Other Mail Offers" lists.  The Today Show site says this costs $1, but that article was dated 2007, and today it appears to be a free service.

5) I sent an email to optout@abacus-us.com asking to have my name removed from catalog mailing lists.

6) To fend off coupon offers addressed to "Occupant" and "Resident," I went to Valassis and filled out their short online form.

7) I don't currently get them, but if you want to stop receiving Valpaks, follow this link and enter your information from the outside of the blue envelope.

It will take a few months to see a reduction in my junk mail, but this whole process took less than an hour and will hopefully save lots of paper over my lifetime.

Berkeley Vegan Earth Day

Last night we attended the first Berkeley Vegan Earth Day at the Cal campus.  It was a pretty small event: there were about eight vendors, a small raffle, a screening of the movie Call of Life, and a panel presentation.  I had really been looking forward to it, and I had a great time.  But it was really interesting to see veganism and environmentalism clashing with greenwashing and consumerism.

I got really excited about attending the event when I heard there were going to be t-shirts, water bottles, and reusable bags.  It made me realize what an absolute consumer whore I am.  I was very eager to get to the event early enough to have my first pick of the t-shirts.  Now granted, they were made by Stay Vocal, a company that reuses shirts that otherwise would have been shredded into rags, but did we really need shirts?  And did we really need bottles?  There were no labels on them to say where they came from, and a lot of metal bottles are made in China (including Klean Kanteens).  And where were the bags made?  No labels on them either.  They seemed to be made of recycled plastic, but there weren't any labels stating so so I can't be sure.

Most of the vendors had big stacks of handouts.  Some of them were printed on recycled paper, but not all of them.  And there were lots of things to buy.  There was a vendor who claimed to be selling all vegan food, but one of their items had honey in it.  When I called him on it, he said, "Well, it depends on how strict a vegan you are."  Even Travis, who constantly criticizes me for being too strict in my veganism, agrees that if you're selling "vegan" food, you have to prepare it according to the strictest definition of veganism. 

I ended up spending almost $100 on the ticket, shirts, water bottle, bag, food, and books, and I felt like the dirtiest consumer.  I got a bumper sticker, but passed over a sheet of stickers, thinking the plastic backing was probably not recyclable.  I only picked up handouts that I promised myself I would read and use to show other people.  I didn't see any compost bins, and I winced at all of the plastic wrapping everywhere.  I bought a drink that was served in a waxed paper cup, and squirmed inside when the vendor put a plastic lid on it and gave me a plastic straw without asking me if I wanted them.

It was Earth Day.  I learned some valuable new things, and overall I enjoyed myself.  But I also learned a lot about what I don't want to do in my life and or at my wedding.  Being truly green involves a lot more than just slapping the words "vegan" or "Earth Day" on things.

Eco-cheap: Ways I'm Saving Money

By not buying any wedding magazines or books

It's hard, but I've been frequenting my local library every chance I get.

By buying silver rings without jewels

Luckily I've never been interested in having a big, expensive, conflict diamond, and I'm not a fan of gold.

By not sending snail mail invitations
Less gas used by the postal service, less trees cut down, and less money and time spent by us.  We'll have this website and a Twitter account, and we'll send out emails and evites.

By having the wedding outdoors 

Tilden Park, at one of the picnic grounds.  The reservation fee shouldn't be that big of a deal, and we shouldn't have to rent any furniture.

By putting my loved ones to work
My second cousins The Brothers Landau, an acoustic guitar and cello duo, and my sister will provide the musical entertainment.  My sister will also be the photographer (and we'll set up a Flickr account for all of the guests to post their photos to).  A friend will be our officiant.  My wine maker uncle (of Westwood Wine) will pour.  My sister and I will be the wedding planners.  And my aunt and cousin will make the food.  So much money saved.

By borrowing as much as I can from friends
Plates, utensils, chairs, and more.

By serving all of our drinks in glass jars 

Kitschy and cost-effective.

By making my own wedding cake
Vegan, of course.  We'll make a small cake for the bride and groom and cupcakes for everyone else.  That way we won't need plates and forks.  I just have to figure out what I can do for the cupcake liners.  I'm hoping someone makes them from recycled material or maybe I can make them myself.

By not getting my hair, nails, and make-up did
No make-up, no nail polish.  I'll do my hair myself.

By not having flowers
Instead I'll be making flowers from recycled paper and fabric that hopefully I'll be able to find for free.

By honeymooning locally
My parents let us use their portable timeshare and we decided to stay in San Francisco.  We'll even take public transportation from Berkeley to the City after the wedding.

Eco-chic: Ways I'm Going Green

By buying our wedding rings from a local jeweler, sans jewels

We bought our rings from Berkeley artist Michelle Rallis of Kiss My Ring.  We don't have to worry about conflict jewels because we have none.  Melissa's not sure where the silver comes from, but thinks it might be from near Grass Valley, California.

By not sending snail mail invitations
Less gas used by the postal service, less trees cut down, less money and time spent by us.  We'll have this website and a Twitter account, and we'll send out emails and evites.

By having my ceremony and reception outside and during the day
This reduces the need for electricity.  And our rainy day location has lots of big windows to let the sunlight in (whatever there may be).

By serving only vegan food
Including the cake.  No animal products for us.

By serving local, vegan wine
We're trying to limit the distance our refreshments have to travel to make it to our wedding, and to make sure no egg whites or fish bladders were used to refine them.

By using used
We'll be borrowing plates and silverware from friends and supplementing with ones bought from thrift stores.  The majority of our decorations will be made from recycled materials.

By introducing our guests to carbon offsets
Although some people argue that the idea of carbon offsets are fundamentally flawed, we will unfortunately have guests coming in from around the country and will at least introduce them to the idea of offsetting their travel, ultimately allowing them to make the decision to do so for themselves.  One of the best ways to reduce a weddings carbon footprint is to have as few guests as possible, but unfortunately, that's something we just can't (or don't want to) do.

By not registering for gifts
We already have so much stuff.  I'd much rather have handmade gifts, but I'll settle for none at all.  By insisting that our guests don't buy us things, we're reducing our use of material goods.
 

By arriving and departing on bicycles...?
This may turn out to be just a pipe dream since you pretty much have to climb up a mountain to get to Tilden, but it's a year away, so we have some time to train.  And how cute would it be to have a sign on the back of his bike that says "Just" and a sign on the back of mine that says "Married?"  (If we can't manage to ride our bikes, we'll rent a hybrid or electric car.  And we're going to encourage our guests to do the same.)

By having unplugged musicians
My second cousins The Brothers Landau, an acoustic guitar and cello duo, and my sister will provide the musical entertainment, sans amplification.  Maybe you'll have to be sitting right next to them to hear them but that's fine.  An intimate performance by some amazing performers.

By not having flowers
I was horrified when I went into Whole Foods recently where they were advertising their Fair Trade flowers, straight from South America!  Don't we have plenty of flowers here?  Regardless, I figure it'll be a great way to save money if I just make bouquets and center pieces from recycled paper and fabric.  I won't have to worry about them wilting, either.

By honeymooning locally
Just across the bay in San Francisco.  We'll take public transportation to our hotel after the wedding.

The Cost of an Eco-chic, Eco-cheap Wedding

The average American wedding costs about $27,000.  I've been to a couple of weddings that were probably close to $100,000, complete with multiple photographers, multiple videographers, multiple make-up artists, multiple wedding cakes, Monique Lhuillier dresses, fancy vineyard venues, and gourmet food.

During our year-long engagement, I picked up lots of wedding magazines, including one that advertised itself as featuring "budget weddings".  The cheapest among these was around $10,000, and that did not include the price of the dress or the rings.  Most of the supposedly "cheap" weddings described in the magazine still cost about $25,000.

In contrast, we spent a total of about $4,400 on our absolutely beautiful dream wedding and were overwhelmed with how perfect everything was.  Looking back, there was no need to spend any more than that.  Throwing more money at it wouldn't have made it any more special, memorable, or divine.

Not only does our $4,400 total include two separate wedding dresses (one I wore for the ceremony and one I wore for the rehearsal dinner and to a party the day before the wedding) and the rings (four between the two of us), it also includes the cost of things we didn't end up using (a blouse, an iPod dock), plane tickets for a close friend, clothing for six guests (who couldn't otherwise afford it), and the deposit from the venue that we still expect to receive back in full.

How did we do it, you ask?

Our outdoor picnic area venue was only $398 (minus the $150 deposit).  Our officiant was free (though the $4,400 total does include a $98 gift for her).  We had no photographer.  Our cake (and cupcakes) were made by our best man (and a couple of other friends).  Our clothes were from the Gap, thrift stores, and Etsy.  Our rings were locally made and included no gems.  All of our flowers were handmade from recycled materials, as were our party favors.  We didn't have a wedding planner (well, besides me), and we didn't have any fancy cars to drive us to the ceremony or reception (unless you consider a Nissan Quest minivan fancy, which perhaps you should).

Our music turned out to be our largest expense: $400 for the two-man band (plus a $110 tip).  But it was well worth the price.  They were amazing and had learned and arranged dozens of songs, including "California Love" by 2Pac Shakur, "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross, and "Only Girl" by Rihanna.

What the $4,400 total does not include is all of the food and alcohol that our friends and family gifted us for the reception.  While we did pay for some of the food, many guests decided to help with the potluck rather than give us presents, which was just what we wanted!

The total also does not include the cost of the rehearsal dinner (which was about $300 for seven people split between both sets of parents) or the honeymoon (though the hotel was only $238 for a full week because my parents lent us their timeshare).

 ---

Here is an itemized list of what we bought (I highlighted purchases that were "superfluous"):

Engagement and Wedding Rings (4) (Kiss My Ring) - $500

Wedding Dress 1 (Haight Street thrift store) - $82.13

Fabric and Zipper for Wedding Dress 1 (Discount Fabrics) - $11.46

Alterations on Wedding Dress 1 - $40

Tulle Skirt (Etsy) - $165

Hemp Twine (Dick Blick) -  $6.80

Earrings (Tree House) - $12.29

Headband (Tree House) - $17.56

JCPenney Wedding Guide (Urban Ore) - $1.42

Doilies and Handkerchiefs (Urban Ore) - $9.00

Decorations (EB Depot) - $39.62

Books (Pegasus, Shakespeare and Company) - $17.22

Travis' Clothes (Gap) - ~$180

Travis' Shoes (Simple) - $55

Doilies and Handkerchiefs (Clausen House) - $16.75

Paper, Envelopes (EB Depot) - ~$10.24

Plates and Forks (Unique Boutique) - $9.50

Corset (Etsy) - $119.50

Blouse - ~$50 (didn't wear)

Sash - ~$5

Yarn and Fabric (EB Depot) - $7.50

Veil (Lacis) - ~$30

Ribbon and Glue (Stonemountain) - $34.04

Venue - $398 (expecting a $150 deposit refund)

Doily and Ring Case (Clausen House) - $2.40

Thread, Photos, Paper (EB Depot) - $10.06

Sack, Handkerchiefs, Table Runner (Pauline's) - $20

Fabric (EB Depot) - $6

Glue (Dick Blick's) - $4.75

Glue (Stonemountain) - $12.34

Scissors, needles (Lacis) - ~$29

Speakers (Amazon) - ~$55.00 (didn't use)

Burlap Sacks (Etsy) - $36

Books and Basket (EB Depot) - ~$18

Doilies (Clausen House) - $25

American Apparel Panties - ~$39 (didn't wear)

Kasey's Shoes - ~$60

Doilies (Clausen House) - $11

Glue, twine, Goo Gone (ACE) - ~$25

Juice and Vegenaise (Sprouts) - ~$74

Rooting Growth Hormone (for plant favors) - ~$10

Kasey's Jacket (Decades of Fashion) - ~$32

Paperweights (Loved to Death) - ~$46

Doilies (Church Mouse) - ~$40

Engagement Earrings (Kiss My Ring) - ~$88

Musicians - $400 (parents paid)

Marriage License - $96

Necklace - $39

Shirt for Guest- ~$27.75

Clothes for Guest- ~$85

Parasol, etc. (Lacis) - ~$64

Plane Tickets for Guest- $275.20

Basket (Out of the Closet) - $3.50

Doilies (Mixed Pickles) - $2.18

Bottles (Urban Ore) - $6.74

Glue Tape (Paper Source) - $26.70

Safety Pins (ACE) - ~$6

Ribbon (Stonemountain) - $6.09

Under-dress (H&M) - ~$14.30

Clothes for 4 Guests (dd's) - ~$30 

Cake stand, baking cups (Someone's in the Kitchen) - $136.70

Food (Whole Foods) - ~$177.00 (parents paid)

Food (Farmers' Market) - $27 (parents paid)

Food (Trader Joe's) - ~$50? (parents paid)

Food (Trader Joe's) - $53.82

Lace, books (Lacis) - ~$33.50 (parents paid)

Pens (Staples) - $19.54

Stakes for Altar (ACE) - $10.42 (parents paid) 

Screws for Table (ACE) - ~$5? (parents paid)

Rental Car - $118 (parents paid)

Rental Chairs - $64.90

Tip for Band - $110 (parents paid $50)

Tip for Officiant - $98

Foam Squares (Paper Source) - ~$12